A Painfully Honest Update About The Here & Now
20 MONTHS
It has been 20 months since I last wrote so candidly about current life. The world in 2020, we were labelling it ‘2020’ in a way that made it sound like it would be over the very moment the clock struck 12 on New Year’s Eve. Yet here we are again.
Right now I’m facing the same fate in Winter ‘21 as I did in Summer ‘20, having already lost half of my income this month due to Covid - cancelled parties, postponed weddings. Only this time, I’m more broken, I’m more worried and, on the flip side, more grateful of a rest.
PEOPLE SAY “YOU’RE DOING SO WELL, BUSINESS LOOKS BOOMING”
I worked triply hard in summer to fit in the workload that should have been nicely paced out over a whole year. So I could, for a few months, earn more money than life is costing, pushing myself through my mental and physical capacity and gaining a repetitive strain injury along the way. How I wish I’d have appreciated the more free summer that so many experienced, seen family and friends more. Little did I know that we’d be plunged back into this same ludicrous situation and I’m not sure I can take another year like this one.
PEOPLE JUST DO SOMETHING
As I mentioned in the original post - I’m not usually one of the people who just do nothing and over the months following the first lockdown me and the fella, well mostly the fella, built the Shepherd’s Hut Bakery in the garden; the space I have been so thankful for when I was working until 11PM - with the ability to roll straight into bed or to nip down for dinner.
CUSTOMERS
There has been a shift in customers, throughout 2020 I saw communities coming together to support one another. SUPPORT LOCAL was branded everywhere, SHOP SMALL was a slogan to live by. 2021, for me, saw many people dropping their orders last minute or forgetting to tell me their numbers had reduced - leaving me with excess stock, less income and not enough time to fill the holes in my diary.
It has been lovely to see so many regular faces too and receive such great feedback to keep me going (please leave public reviews for businesses, it helps!). To be amongst the buzz of wedding set ups again made me feel full of life. The joy on people’s unmasked faces as they saw their cake idea become a reality was priceless. This makes it all feel worth it, I hope I’m not about to stop feeling these things once more.
I’ve had such a variety of collections to contemplate on recently. I always have a table to put the cake on in the doorway for social distancing, sanitise my hands, keep everywhere spotless and do random LFT checks. I hope my customers feel safe. I still have customers collect fully masked up, understandably cautious and fearful from the sensationalised news. I also have customers tell me of family that won’t see them in case they kill them, opting to spend more years staying in their living room than potentially catch a virus that they think could kill them after being triple jabbed to avoid getting seriously ill.
WHEN WILL IT END?
I don’t hold out a whole lot of hope for this looking better any time soon and as another month rolls by with less income, munching up my savings, I wonder - when is it time to stop?
WOE IS ME! DRAMA LLAMA
I know I know I know… sounds like I just want your sympathy, I don’t, I want to give you a realistic account of the running commentary in my head. Because there’s more to a business, to a person, than the successful image they’re trying to portray on social media.
This is the rough with the smooth, just this morning I shared a post on an awesome guitar cake for a big 18th celebration, and last night a happy blue handed Lu working in the kitchen. I’m living lots of happy moments with an undercurrent of confusion and frustration. Every time I see another restriction added, another cancellation email come through it chips away at the doubt but I still remain positive that I’m a lucky one, to have savings, a home, incredibly patient fella, friends, family and fluffball. I’m glad that I can, for now, still keep going with the business I worked so hard to create. That I still have opportunity to be creative and hope that it doesn’t come to a halt with another lockdown or more restrictions in the UK imminent.
I wish luck to everyone in the same boat of uncertainty and even more so to those who are worse.
Ready to ride another storm?